Posted: 20 June 2011 at 12:26pm | IP Logged

Time to revive the balloon joke:

A man in a balloon gets caught by a gust of wind. He lowers his balloon over a field and shouts to a man walking across the field "Where am I?"

"You're in a balloon," comes the helpful reply.

"You write Microsoft help screens don't you?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Easy. When I asked for help you gave me information that was 100% accurate but completely useless."

"And you're senior management aren't you?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going, you were in a mess before you met me but it's suddenly my fault."

Posted: 01 July 2011 at 11:50pm | IP Logged

Six Truths in life.

1) You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility.

2)All idiots, after reading Number 1 will try it.

3) And discover Number 1 is a lie.

4) You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5) You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6) There is still a stupid smile on your face. I sincerely apologise about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company! 

Posted: 02 July 2011 at 5:50pm | IP Logged

 I almost reported her!  But you can't report your one time landlady (especially if you might need to go back!)

Anyway, Zippy's far too powerful in the ATF hierachy