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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 15 July 2012 at 4:13pm | IP Logged
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Seagull wrote:
Zippy wrote:
OnLineGenie wrote:
How can you tell when there's a heavy metal singer at your front door?
He doesn't know when to come in and he can't find the key. |
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This could also be for drummers, like Tim! 
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Or a confused Banksy after an off-shore fishing trip from his island?
He doesn't know when to come in, and he can't find the quay...
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Excellent Seagull, the quay word indeed! 
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Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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OnLineGenie
Groupie
Joined: 12 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 83
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| Posted: 15 July 2012 at 5:49pm | IP Logged
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Zippy wrote:
OnLineGenie wrote:
How can you tell when there's a
heavy metal singer at your front door? He doesn't know when to come in
and he can't find the key. |
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This could also be for drummers, like Tim! |
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That's quite enough drummer jokes, thank you!
You have seen my Facebook cover photo haven't you?
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Mark Syder (like the drink but spelt different)
OnLineGenie Web Design and Hosting: http://www.onlinegenie.net
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OnLineGenie
Groupie
Joined: 12 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 83
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| Posted: 17 July 2012 at 9:04am | IP Logged
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Three blondes go for an interview for a detective agency. The interviewer
tells them "To be a detective you need to be able to see things that the
average person misses. I'm going to show you all a photograph and the
person who spots what is unusual gets the job".
The first blonde looks at the photograph and says "He's only got one
eye".
"Idiot!" says the interviewer. "The photograph is in profile. You're no good
to me. Get out."
She leaves and the second blonde looks at the photograph. "He's only got
one ear."
"Idiot! Didn't you hear me tell the other candidate that the photograph's
in profile? Get out."
She leaves and the third blonde looks at the photograph. "He's wearing
contact lenses".
Perplexed, the interviewer looks at the photograph and then at his notes.
"You're absolutely right. According to the notes he does wear contact
lenses. How could you tell that from the photograph?"
"Well he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, can he?"
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Mark Syder (like the drink but spelt different)
OnLineGenie Web Design and Hosting: http://www.onlinegenie.net
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Kevyn
Roadie
Joined: 12 November 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 205
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| Posted: 21 July 2012 at 8:22am | IP Logged
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It was hard getting over my addiction to the hokey cokey,
but I have turned myself around and that's what its all
about.
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Give or take two minutes
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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 22 July 2012 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
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Kevyn wrote:
It was hard getting over my addiction to the hokey cokey,
but I have turned myself around and that's what its all
about. |
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Oh, just realised I am an addict!
__________________
Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 22 July 2012 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for calling Customer Services !!!
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'......on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
__________________
Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 22 July 2012 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
__________________
Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 22 July 2012 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
__________________
Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 22 July 2012 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
__________________
Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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Zippy
ATF VIP
Joined: 18 February 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1445
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| Posted: 22 July 2012 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK!
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
__________________
Say what you like I think you're one in a million.
Zippy loves ATF.
http://www.youtube.com/user/zippyatf
http://www.aidtf.org/shop/
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After The Fire Forums : Chat
Topic: Joke time (again)
