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OnLineGenie
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Posted: 18 January 2013 at 10:56am | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

This snow's amazing. My wife's just standing there staring through the
window.

If it gets any worse I'll let her in.

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OnLineGenie
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Posted: 18 January 2013 at 10:57am | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

I was in Ikea yesterday. I pointed to a table and asked a salesman "Is that
an occasional table?"

He replied "No, it's always a table".

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Mark Syder (like the drink but spelt different)
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OnLineGenie
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Posted: 18 January 2013 at 10:58am | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

Despite HMV and Blockbuster going into administration War Horse is still
available to buy. Frozen food aisle, Tesco.

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OnLineGenie
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Posted: 18 January 2013 at 12:33pm | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

Some people are taking my jokes too seriously. I've received a death threat.

I woke up this morning and there was a Tesco burger on my pillow.

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Kevyn
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Posted: 18 January 2013 at 12:48pm | IP Logged Quote Kevyn

 

Hamburgers is an anagram of Shergar bum

 



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Kevyn
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Posted: 24 January 2013 at 12:43pm | IP Logged Quote Kevyn

 

A vicar was preaching on the church - taking his text "You are Christ's Body and individually members of it".

He started well saying, "Some of you are like mouths and have gifts of preaching and teaching.  Some of you are like hands and have gifts of practical service."

However he got carried away and took the analagy a little too far.

"Some of you are like tonsils - we are better off without you.  And some of you are like appendixes - we would not know you were there if you weren't grumbling"

 

 

 



Edited by Kevyn - 24 January 2013 at 12:43pm


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OnLineGenie
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Posted: 28 January 2013 at 8:54am | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

Tesco's Chinese branch has got in on the act. They're selling a burger
called the quarter panda.

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Posted: 06 February 2013 at 8:21am | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

When Richard III was consulted over plans for a car park in Leicester he
replied "Over my dead body".

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Mark Syder (like the drink but spelt different)
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Posted: 26 February 2013 at 4:21pm | IP Logged Quote OnLineGenie

I accidentally drank Tippex last night instead of liquid Viagra. I woke up
this morning with a huge correction.

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mike_1stgear
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Posted: 26 February 2013 at 4:51pm | IP Logged Quote mike_1stgear


dont you mean a small correction
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