Posted: 16 September 2010 at 3:49pm | IP Logged

Seventy years on a new battle of Britain is about to commence. Pulverised by a blanketing blitz of screen-induced torpor and apathy and then sunk between incessant waves of uninspiring muzak, the traditional resilience of the nation’s character was under threat. The ‘few’ rose heroically to meet the threat.

At the sound of the siren, Squadron Leader Peter ‘top gun’ Banks picks up his gauntlet as the crew have been scrambled by Fighter Command to take the battle to the enemy. The ground crew have checked all the gear and patched up the damage from the last batch of missions. There’s no more dallying with their sweethearts in the mess tonight, no it’s a dash to their planes, contact and chocks away. The throaty roar of the engines reverberates through the airfield. And after the spitfire, who knows the power of a jet?

Once in the air and in their usual combat formation, Banks gives his traditional wiggle of the wings and then a cheery wave to the other pilots as they fly straight into action this weekend in the south east of England. This is what Britons have been saving their ration books for. Even though intelligence sources indicate that Messrs Schmitt and co are unlikely to make it this time around.

In close support and with nearly as many flying hours First Lieutenant Johnny ‘I'll wing it?’ Russell’s face is split with a huge happy grin. He runs through the controls to see that everything is tuned up to ensure he leads his opponents in a merry dance. More than ready to get back into some real aerial dogfights, trading riff for riff and a sight warmer than his pre-war wing walking act he delivered at County fairs to make ends meet. 

The Free Polish pilot Count Igor Niblowski takes the brunt of the squadron’s mickey-taking in good humour, which mainly centres on his constant messing about with his icons. His fractured English is perhaps why he’s rarely heard over the radios; either that or he’s been adding the plane’s fuel to his cup of char.

With a fuel sapping loop de loop Bobby ‘hanger head’ Halligan receives a gentle rebuke from the Squadron Leader to save the acrobatics for the real action and not the sound check. Aiming to bag as many as he can with each attack, he dreams of having as many scores displayed as trophies on the side of his fuselage as his muckers, Banks and Russell. 

New boy Tim ‘Ack Ack’ Turner sailed through his interview test (please can you count up to four.) Apparently he decided to volunteer after gaining valuable front line experience operating as a rear gunner on a milk float in the old East End.

It’ll be bandits at eleven’ o’clock for all with their after sortie cocoa.

As the searchlights scan the skies you might just catch the silhouettes of our five brave boys heading for a stage near you or make that a nearby haystack depending on the vagaries of command control operating from the back of the hall. 

Never in the field of rock was so much owed by so many to so few.

Roger and out.

Posted: 16 September 2010 at 11:02pm | IP Logged

Love the bit about Messr Schmitt & Co.!   I reckon the New Boy Tim Ack Ack Turner gave the enemy a formidable rat-at-tat-tat from the back of his milk float!

Posted: 17 September 2010 at 11:56am | IP Logged

Love this, really good.

Jolly good work chaps