Posted: 18 November 2005 at 1:30pm | IP Logged

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

Operator:      "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
travelling in Australia?"

Operator:  "Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
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Tech Support:      "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer:  "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer:  "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?".
 Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller:  "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

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Posted: 19 November 2005 at 9:25am | IP Logged

Another true story from Bedford this summer while the band were setting up one of the crew had a particular t-shirt on. Two youngsters walking behind the bandstand their conversation went like this

Youngster 1. Who's playing?

Youngster 2. Greenday

Posted: 20 November 2005 at 3:26pm | IP Logged

Noel, now we are on the subject of Chav's, here are a few chav jokes.

What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted

What do you call a chav in a bank vault?

Safe

What do you call a chav that has just been stung by a bee?

Buzzin!

What do you say to a chav in a suit?

I hope you have a good lawyer!

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And now for the techies...

What if Operating Systems were airlines... Very funny! Click below.

http://www.webaugur.com/bibliotheca/field_stock/os-airlines. html

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 12:43pm | IP Logged

More chavs... (courtesy of my sister)

What do you call a chav in a box.... Innit.

What do you call a female chav in a white shell suit... the bride

Why wouldn't you run down a chav riding a bike? ... It's your bike.

Paul.