Posted: 04 August 2013 at 12:28am | IP Logged

Seagull wrote: Vulpine wrote: A penguin walks into a pub in tears. "What's the matter?" the landlord asks. "I can't find my Dad" The penguin says "OK. Well, what does he look like?"

A Seagull telling a penguin joke! Are you trying to say that the Penguins dad is the milkman!

Posted: 09 August 2013 at 10:42am | IP Logged

Duck walks into a pub and asks for a pint of beer

Wow says the bar man a talking duck you don’t see many talking ducks

No says the duck I don’t suppose you do, drinks his beer and leave’s

The next day in walks the duck and asks for a pint of beer, this time he drinks it with the bar man while they chat.

This goes on for a few days until on the seventh day the duck walks in and asks for

A pint of beer and sits down with the bar man to drink it

The barman says have you seen the circus over the road?

Yes say the duck I have.

Why don’t you go over and ask if they have any jobs says the bar man I am sure they can find work for you

What at the circus? says the duck

Yes says the bar man

What that big tent over on the park says the duck

Yes says the bar man

The big tent with the cloth sides says the duck looking puzzled

YES says the bar man!!

now pay attention everyone the punch line to this ever so clever joke is that the bar man is thinking that a talking duck that would be good for a circus

but and i need you to keep up with me on this one

the duck thinks

why would a tent need plastering



i am available on a consultancy basis if you need anyhting else explaining

Posted: 16 August 2013 at 1:16pm | IP Logged

A man got a message at work to say that his wife had gone into labour and had been taken to hospital.  He dropped everything and started to rush over to the hospital.

While he was on his way, he thought he would check up on the news.  But unfortunately he mis-dialed and telephoned the County Cricket Ground instead of the maternioty ward.  The man explained who he was and asked if anything had happened.

"Oh yes," came the reply.  "There are five out already - and the last two were ducks!"

Posted: 27 August 2013 at 1:36pm | IP Logged

The duck is a plasterer by trade.  He thinks the barman thinks the circus needs a plasterer which is silly.  However, the barment thinks the circus wants a talking duck as an act. 

Possibly animal acts are banned in circuses in Germany - they are banned in some parts of the UK.

Posted: 29 August 2013 at 5:10pm | IP Logged

Hey, I did get it !

It was either that the duck was a plasterer, or the duck was plastered !

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